How to Live With Your in Laws


Addressing Finances

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    Determine how you will pay rent or housing costs. If you are moving into a home that already belongs to your in-laws, you may decide to pay rent directly, perhaps an amount that factors in your share of the utility bills. If you are buying property with your in-laws, you may decide to have your portions of the mortgage withdrawn directly from your accounts each month.

    • If you are moving into your in-laws’ home, they may be reluctant to take money from you for housing. While it may be nice to live rent-free, it is probably better to find some way to compensate them anyway, in order to help prevent resentment. You could say, “I understand that you don’t want to charge us rent, but we feel that we need to pay you something for letting us stay here. How would you feel if we took over paying the utilities and bought all our own groceries?”
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    Discuss how you will split bills. Decide how costs will be split for all utilities in the household, and in whose name the bills will be. Decide on payment deadlines and who will be responsible for them.[1]

    • For example, you may decide that your in-laws will pay the gas and water bills, but you will pay the electricity.
    • You could decide to split bills 50/50, or have one group of family members pay a larger share than another. For example, your parents-in-law would pay less in utilities than your family of five.
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    Determine how you will pay for food. You may first want to figure out how you want to split meal responsibilities before you determine how you want to budget for food. You will want to decide if you want to all contribute to a communal food kitty, keep your food bills separate, or a combination of the two.

    • For example, you may want to keep your food entirely separate, with your own cabinets and making your own meals every night. Or you may wish to split all food costs down the middle and share everything. Determine what will work best for your family situation.[2]
    • You may also want to factor in other consumable household items into your food budget, like cleaning supplies, toilet paper, or toiletries.
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    Factor in childcare payments. A major reason why multiple generations move in together is to help with childcare. Determine if you want to compensate or be compensated for helping with childcare, and come to an agreement with other members of the household about what would be a reasonable payment.

    • For example, does your mother-in-law want to be compensated for watching your child two days a week while you’re at work? If so, do you want to pay her in cash or subtract the amount from her share of the bills?
    • If you do not pay a family member for watching your children, consider how you can help reduce the workload in other ways. For example, you could take care of all the food shopping and meal preparation or do a larger portion of house cleaning.
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    Address unusual circumstances. Make plans for unexpected life changes. Discuss how you will handle bills if one of you should lose their job, have a baby, or fall ill. It is better to discuss possibilities ahead of time rather than not have a plan of action in an emergency.

    • For example, you could say, “What if I were to lose my job? As it is right now, we are barely making ends meet, which is why we are moving in with you. How would we handle this situation? What would you expect from us?”
    • Discuss what you want to do in case one family decides they want to move. At some point, one or both families may decide that this living plan isn’t working out, or there may be a new opportunity for someone in another city. Determine how your families could separate and how you would divide moving responsibilities.
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    Consider putting everything in writing. It might not seem like something you want to do with other members of your family, but putting financial obligations in writing will help put everyone on the same page and could avoid arguments down the road. While having members of your family sign a lease or other legal documents may feel awkward or distrustful, the uncomfortable feelings now may save you a lot of heartache and strained family relations later.[3]

    • Determine what kind of documents you need. Look online for examples to draw up your own, or you could consider hiring an attorney to prepare any legal documents for you. Make sure the documents would hold up in court; for example, you may want to get some documents notarized.
    • If you are buying property together, you may want everyone’s signatures on loan documents, for example.


Source: wikihow. com

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